The Courage To Be Disliked Notes

April 28, 2020

Link to book

This book was a gift from my girlfriend, tackles Alderian psychology narrated through the conversation of a young boy and an old philosopher.


  1. Happiness is the feeling of contribution to others.

  2. Greatest life lie is to mot be living in the present.

  3. All (non-physical) “problems” are interpersonal relationship problems.

  4. Always see others as comrades (unless they have definitively proven to be enemies, foes, or malicious competitors). When you view others as comrades (or potential comrades), you feel secure, confident, and connected.

  5. Horizontal relationships - Desired, healthy relationships – ones that are equitable and non-competitive – wherein no power struggle occurs. (As opposed to “vertical relationships” which are hierarchical and should be avoided. Vertical relationships are based on traditional dynamics wherein each person assumes a higher or lower position, or where both people remain indirectly competitive and engage in an ongoing “power struggle.”)

  6. Intervention of tasks, which commonly occurs in vertical relationships, involves intruding, directing, or manipulating to serve one’s own goals. Assistance in tasks, which occurs in horizontal relationships, involves helping someone reach a resolution on their own